BULLYING

06/28/2019

Hi everyone,  

 

thank you for returning to my blog, despite my absence! I finished my exams a few weeks ago and since then I have decided to return to writing some blog posts.  

This isn't the nicest topic that I am going to be covering today on my blog. It is important to believe in positivity, gratitude and happiness. However, this issue on bullying and fake friends has been brought to my attention not only on social media in the form of cyber bullying, but also in real life. In this blog post, I will be sharing some quotes on bullying in italics and in bold. Such as the quote below.

 

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.”

 

Have you been bullied before? Even if you haven’t, I am sure that most of us can admit that we are not too proud of some things we have said to others. And even comments which were supposed to be funny may have unintentionally hurt someone.

 

It is challenging for some people to comprehend that what you say to someone can have a lasting impact on them. Whether it is something funny that isn't true or just a mean comment. Most people don't open up about bullying that they face or even recognise that what someone is saying to them isn't a joke anymore, but it is actually abusive and hurtful. Some of the people saying these things could even be friends! It is extremely important to understand that bullying is not only in the form of physical conflict and pain, but also verbal conflict which affects someone differently due to emotional and psychological suffering.

 

                 Why do people say mean things?

It costs nothing to be nice and compliment someone, but for some reason people think about the ‘weak’ points or flaws of a person. Bullying someone can make others feel good, regardless of what they say. It makes someone feel more ‘superior’ than another person or just ‘better’ in general. A lot of people could be peer-pressured into bullying even if they don’t agree with what is being said about someone, however, other people use bullying as a chance to move up the ‘social ladder’ and become friends with people in different groups Most bullying takes place in schools. Over 1.5 million people in the UK who have been bullied in the past year. However, even more children at schools are bullied but are in fear of opening up about their experiences and won’t talk to someone due to embarrassment and a lack of support. Over 19% of these 1.5 million people experience bullying on a daily basis.

 

“You will never reach higher ground if you are always pushing others down.”

 

What’s worse is that usually the bullying is to do with a ‘flaw’ of a person.

Such as:

-          The way someone looks.

 

If someone has a scar, a birth mark, visible body hair, acne, wears glasses, has big ears, short or tall, physical disabilities, their race and even sometimes the way someone smells.

 

-          Someone’s beliefs and opinions.

 

People could be bullied due to their  personality, intelligence, opinions, and their friendships.

 

Most people should understand that these ‘flaws’ are points in a person that the individual themselves already know about. If someone had a birthmark on their face or a scar, then  they wouldn’t want to be reminded of it every time they walk past a particular person who bullies them. No doubt this person will have already tried countless makeup products to reduce the swelling of the scar and to cover it up, as well as visiting the doctors. In most instances, bullying can become more extreme if these rumours and ideas are spread to others.

 

“People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that’s not true. Words can hurt. They hurt me. Things were said to me that I still haven’t forgotten.” Demi Lavato

 

The victim of the bullying will feel oppressed, small and even weaker than before. Why highlight someone’s worst features or flaws when no one is perfect? Even the bully is not perfect. And what if the bullying is orientated around something that the individual cannot change? Such as their sexual orientation or the spots on their face. Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean they need to change completely too. In many cases bullying the victim will feel unable to speak out about the hurtful comments or actions that are being directed towards them, it is usually never confident or popular children who are bullied, as because they would speak out against the bully and end of it all. However, the children being bullied often feel uncomfortable standing up for themselves, and instead say nothing in response to the spiteful and disgusting verbal abuse. But what happens then? When the child does not stand up for themselves? Well, the bullying will continue unless the ‘joke’ becomes old or boring, although if the bullying is centred around an aspect of a person which is not reversable, then the bullying could last for a long time – in some cases, several years.

 

This form of abuse and harassment can impact the child’s life, depending on their actions, maturity and age. Some children try to block out the bullying, and not respond, but by not speaking out, the bully usually persists as they find it funnier and realise the victim is ‘vulnerable’ and ‘weak.’

 

“What if the kid you bullied at school grew up and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?”

 

It is important to speak out against it – tell someone you trust or see a counsellor/doctor. Usually telling someone else not only takes the anxiety away from the victim of bullying, but also enables them to understand how they should react in response to the hurtful comments. What most children don’t realise is that bullying can have a severe impact on someone’s life, as words do hurt. It’s true – they do. The victim of bullying will feel isolated, anxious and even upset as if they have brought the bullying on themselves for not being ‘normal.’ But what is normal? No one is perfect. No one. So surely there is no need for the person being bullied to change? No, of course not. That is why the victim of the abuse should speak and open up about their experiences with someone else, even if they just tell a friend or a family member, because although they may appear fine on the outside, or even happy, they may not be. A lot of people feel unable to talk about bad moments in their lives, so It is as if they were wearing a mask. It is difficult to read their emotions and thoughts. But why is this? It is because they are changed by the emotional impact of the bullying and as a result, they wear their mask– faking smiles and laughs to ensure they do not break down and cry. No child should have to go through this, the pain and anxiety of guilt and the  worry of what will happen to them. Of the psychological impacts and effects – not wanting to socialise with other children or leave their house due to the paranoia or anxiety that they face if they do see the bullies, of the irrevocable feeling of becoming  insecure and self-conscious. Or even appearing mean or emotionless just because they cannot explain what is happening, to find the right words to describe how they feel.

 

“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.”– Abraham Lincoln

 

And yet it is the same for cyber bullying – the intimidation and pressure from the bully can lead to the victim becoming upset and anxious or depressed, even at a young age. In fact, if the bullying persists, it reaches the stage where mean comments can no longer hurt the young person. They have read all those horrible comments before. They have seen all those actions as well in reality. None of it surprises or upsets them now, it all just becomes ‘normal’ and that is not right. Never right.

 

So what happens if the child or young person is unable to speak out and tell someone about the intimidation and persecution they face?

 

Well, unfortunately, they keep it all to themselves, making the situation even worse. They are powerless and incapable of telling someone, which means the suffering and anxiety rests entirely on their shoulders. They must fend for themselves. But this normally can increase stress levels and paranoia as the person feels vulnerable and weak, not able to stand up unassisted on their own legs and crawl away into a hole where none of it will ever happen. To be swiped off the planet and never hear a mean word said to them ever again… However, it does reach a point where the child may just burst. I don’t mean they explode and die, but I mean they can no longer control their emotions and feelings, it all just comes flooding out. This could be tears and sobbing or tantrums and even arguments with family by telling them what has happened. Once this has occurred, there is no going back. Their parents know and the pressure is on them too, as of course, all parents want is their child to be happy. It can make things worse especially if the parents think that the subject of the bullying is ‘stupid’ or if there is no problem with their child, then it can lead nowhere. Despite this, bullying puts tension on the parents as they worry about their child and how to help them.

 

Why is it that children bully others?

 

There are many reasons why children bully others including: A difficult home life (it could be being adopted or parents divorced) an insecurity about themselves themselves or just generally being an anxious or insecure person) , they may have been bullied before,  have a low self-esteem or anger issues and show aggressive behaviour.

It is extremely significant that in modern society, there is more support for those suffering from harassment and bullying, as not only does the bullying have a lasting effect on the victim of the abuse, but also parents can feel weighed down by the stress and worry which is placed on them. Additionally, it is crucial that young children are taught about bullying at school and what to do to prevent it, this is because it will educate children in schools that bullying is never right or acceptable. The teaching will also inform them of the pressures and sanctions they may face in response to hurtful comments said to someone else as bullying is never tolerable. According to the latest research, 50% of people are affected by bullying in their lifetime. And that is why it needs to stop. Not enough people share their experiences or ways on stopping the bullying, this is why I wrote this blog post, in the hope that someone will have found it useful.

 

“Blowing out someone elses candles doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.”

 

But don’t suffer in silence – tell someone you trust and then make sure you either contront the bullies or ignore them. You should never feel ashamed of telling someone about what is happening, or asking for their help. And if you have popped onto this blog post out of interest, or because you or someone you know has been bullied, thank you for reading this far. I want you to always remember that you are strong, worthy and important. Bullies are the people who are insecure and miserable, don’t let them pull you down, because if they are trying to do that, then it just means that they are already below you.

 

Let’s spread positivity and kindness, I am sorry that this isn’t the nicest topic on my blog, but I believe it is a vital one as not enough people speak out against it due to opression and embarrassment. Have an amazing day and remember to be kind because everyone is fighting their own battles 😊

If you thought this post was useful or you enjoyed it, feel free to share it or tap on the heart to like it.

 

 

 

Beth Lucy

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